we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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