i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
