Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
