Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
