oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
