ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
time to smoke my breakfast
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize