Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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