"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
