Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
