youre lurking in front of me
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
