you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
