Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
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