Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
