she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
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I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
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Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.