based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
