Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
