Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
vagina is talking i cant
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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