so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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