Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
My life is pants optional.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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