Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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