there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
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