So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
