scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
