I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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