So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
