Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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