i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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