How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
