Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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