i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
it's like heaven, but drunker
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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