I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
