I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
