When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
