Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
