Michael Bay diarrhea
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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