I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
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