I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize