why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
