He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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