It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
