Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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