The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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