Quick, to the slutcave!
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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