my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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