I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
