I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
