You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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