Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
