he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
foreskin is a definite game changer
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
