I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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