No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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