That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
The best revenge is premature balding
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
