so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
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