My nipple is on Facebook.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
