Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Randomize
