I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
