i just google imaged poop.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
