There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
