having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Church boner. Awkwardddd
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
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