I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
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