she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Randomize
