he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
