She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
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