Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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